Henry Conway shares tips on how to make your Christmas unique and avoid common pitfalls that can make the holiday feel ordinary
London: Christmas can be a bit tacky, right? Think about it—clashing colors, too much booze, and all those silly Santa hats. It’s not exactly a time for elegance. So, how do we Brits, known for our snobbery, keep things classy during the festive season? My friend Nicky Haslam has this famous “Common List” tea towel that I hope you’ve got tucked away somewhere, but my take on what’s common at Christmas is a bit more laid-back.
Honestly, I kind of love the cheesy stuff at Christmas. You know, cheap chocolates, those fluffy dog beds, and those hilarious Bridget Jones jumpers. They might seem awful, but the posh folks really dig them. In the upper crust of British society, being a bit naff can actually be chic. But let’s be real—some things are just too cringe-worthy to handle. So, here’s a little guide to the most common Christmas blunders.
First off, let’s talk about Christmas decorations. The tree? It has to be real—no fake ones allowed. And those lights? If you visit a fancy old house, you’ll see multicolored lights. Bright white ones? Super common. And don’t even think about going for a minimalist look with just one color. That’s a hard pass.
Tinsel? It’s actually quite classy, especially if it’s been passed down. And those quirky ornaments you’ve collected over the years? Layer them on! Don’t stress about dusting; that’s just a slippery slope back to being basic. And please, no over-the-top outdoor decorations like illuminated Santas. Leave that to the Americans.
When it comes to Christmas lunch, it’s all about tradition. It’s Christmas Lunch, no matter when you eat. If you’re sitting down at 7 PM, don’t dare call it “Christmas Dinner.” And for the love of all that’s holy, roast a whole bird for leftovers. If you’re vegan, just bring your own food and don’t make a fuss.
And let’s talk drinks. If you’re serving Aperol spritz or rosé, I might just spill it on you. Vol-au-vents are making a comeback, thanks to Jilly Cooper. And paper napkins? So common. Keep the kids’ political debates away from the table, and limit the tears. Crying should be a rare event, preferably done alone.
Throwing a party? Keep it simple. Don’t stress over coasters, and for goodness’ sake, don’t make guests take off their shoes. If you’ve got cream carpets, that’s on you. Lighting is crucial—overhead lights are a no-go. Anyone over 35 needs soft candlelight. Seriously, no one looks good under harsh lights.
And if you’re thinking about hiring staff on Christmas Day? That’s common. But drinks on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day? Absolutely necessary. Keep the thermostat down; a hot house is just too common. A little chill is good for the soul.
On the fashion front, dress nicely for lunch. Matching pajamas should only be for kids. And Crocs? Only for children and gardeners. Go for a nice silk robe instead. This is the time for sequins, so wear them proudly. Sportswear? Nope, banned until after Epiphany. A nice walk is fine, but anything organized is just tacky.
And don’t forget to recycle! Some of the smartest people I know save gift tags and wrapping paper to reuse. Sustainability is a classy move. Regifting is okay, but keep track of who you’re giving what to—no one wants to embarrass themselves.
What’s really common? Caring too much about what others think. Just do your own thing and embrace your family traditions. To have a truly smart Christmas, spread kindness and include everyone. Being mean? Now that’s really common.